Hi! Welcome to my first blog about my nurse sabbatical. My name is Amy Felix and I have been a nurse for almost 18 years and a pediatric nurse practitioner for the last 14 years. I have experience in pediatric intensive care, gastroenterology, and emergency care. Honestly, I love being a nurse! You may be asking yourself, “So, why are you taking a sabbatical if you love it?” Great question. The answer is I’m exhausted!
Nursing Leadership
In the last 5 years, I ventured into nursing leadership and found a new love for the profession. I was excited to support and advocate for those who care for patients while still caring for patients at the bedside. It was fabulous! I managed a team of 36 people, worked a few clinical shifts per month, shifted my team’s culture, led hospital initiatives, and collaborated with departmental leaders on strategies to improve patient care. However, the role also included 24-hour accountability for my staff, managing staff or patient crises, and non-stop advocacy for my team. Over time, I noticed a difference in my lifestyle, vocabulary, and outlook.
The words, “tired, exhausted, busy” was said multiple times a day. The phrases, “I’m good” or “I’m fine” were not always truthful. I would give my all at work and then be too drained to do anything else at the end of the day.
The pandemic, now endemic, started in 2020 and we all had to shift the way we lived. However, 2021 seemed even more challenging, especially as a nurse leader. At the start of the pandemic, leaders were focused on staff safety, keeping jobs, and preventing furloughs. By Spring 2021, it quickly shifted to an abundance of overtime shifts and continuous requests to work more shifts to care for patients who needed us. I watched my team members work to their max to care for patients, picking up extra shifts incessantly. I was nervous for them. I was nervous for me. Overtime pay rates were increasing, which made it even more appealing to work extra shifts but were they resting enough? Were they taking care of themselves?
What are the signs of burnout?
I was definitely feeling the effects! At this point, I would wake up nightly. My brain would go off at 3 am thinking about one of my team members who did not seem like themselves, staffing shortages, how to support the team, how to make sure they were well, and felt stable within the chaos of the pandemic and healthcare changes. After back-to-back virtual meetings, I would experience frequent headaches. Most afternoons, I would have to dim my office lights, turn on my salt lamp, and plug in my aromatherapy to finish my day in the office. It provided me with reprieve and calmness in the midst of chaos in a busy emergency department. I was working on initiatives to promote well-being for nurse practitioners and physician assistants but was I following my own advice. I was officially BURNED OUT! What was I going to do?
Before I proceed, I should say that I regularly take vacations and encouraged my team members to do so as well. Last year, I went to 4 countries for at least 4 days each. I visited family often and traveled with friends. I practice meditation regularly and worked out 4-5 times/week. Somehow, towards the end of 2021, it was not enough. People talk about Monday blues, but I would have Wednesday blues. Hump day was real!
Should I take a sabbatical or quit?
There have been articles and tag lines in the media about nurses leaving the bedside. The Great Resignation or the Great Attrition has now seen 4.5 million Americans leave their job in November of 2021 with the major drivers being healthcare workers and the service industry as reported by CNBC. Did I want to leave the nursing field? No, I love being a nurse. Did I need another role? No, I am too exhausted to start over in another role. So, you are just going to keep doing what you are doing? No, this lifestyle doesn’t seem sustainable. I’m too exhausted and I would hate to become an ineffective leader. I need a break!
“Having courage does not mean that we are not afraid. Having courage and showing courage means we face our fears.”
Maya Angelou
Sabbatical from work
So, in October, as I sat at my desk in my home office, I started dreaming. I like to dream. Well mostly in the daytime because I rarely remember my night dreams. If I do remember, they typically don’t make sense. I was thinking, it would be cool if I could take a sabbatical like professors or physicians. During the time, I could rest, travel, spend more time with family and friends. I could also research different concepts around preventing burnout in nurses. Wow, I want a nursing sabbatical.
After a series of different signs from the Universe, I decided to resign from my role as manager to rest, rejuvenate, and reinvigorate my passion for the nursing field. Hence, the Nurse Sabbatical.
Sabbatical plan
My primary goals for this blog are to share the journey of my nursing sabbatical, share my wellbeing practices, explore the concept of sabbaticals for nurses, and inspire nurses, nurse practitioners, and nurse leaders to assess their own wellness to prevent burnout. More importantly, my hope is that by reading each post something will resonate with you, inspire you, and bring you laughter as I truly believe laughter is good for the soul.
You can look out for posts 4-6 times a month. I will be posting on social media regularly about a day in the life of my sabbatical Feel free to send me messages, share comments, or ideas.
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Thanks for reading my first blog post.