Have you ever heard the term lifestyle design?
If you haven’t, you’re not alone — and you’ll learn more here.
If you have, kudos to you. Maybe this will give you another perspective.
The best way to understand lifestyle design is to think about this:
Have you ever looked around your life and thought, “This can’t be all there is”?
Has that thought crossed your mind in the last week, month, or year?
You’ve worked hard, followed the steps, checked the boxes and yet something still feels off.
That was me.
I had the career, the title, the family, the travel, and what looked like success on paper. But inside, I felt like I was running on autopilot. I didn’t hate my job; I just couldn’t imagine spending the next 20 years living that same day on repeat.
That’s when I stumbled into the concept of Lifestyle Design and everything started to shift.
When Success Didn’t Feel Like Success
It was 2021 post-COVID. Nursing eadership felt confusing, and honestly, life just wasn’t feeling right. I knew it wasn’t unique to me as so many of us were questioning everything during that time.
At work, even though the world had reopened, the hours were still long. We were still holding back-to-back virtual BlueJeans meetings (is that still even a program?), while being expected to come in daily to the office. We survived the initial crisis, but the reality of leadership, the constant demands, the exhaustion, the lack of growth, made me pause and ask, Is this really how I want to live and work?
As I started thinking about taking a sabbatical, I was presented with the opportunity to apply for a Senior Director of Nursing role. I remember being flattered and appreciative for the consideration, but not… excited.
My first question to the person who recommended me was simple:
“What does your day-to-day actually look like?”
I already knew what life looked like for me now and I wasn’t loving it. So I needed to know what my quality of life would look like for that title and salary.
They began describing their routine:
“In the mornings at 7:30am, while I walk my dog, I listen to the hospital’s daily update call. Then I drive in, take meetings, manage crises, meet with staff….”
There’s a pause here because I blanked out and my heart sank. My spirit felt what my head couldn’t say:
No thank you. This is not it.
The Moment I Realized “More” Wasn’t the Goal
Somewhere in that season, I stumbled across The 4-Hour Workweek. I don’t even remember how I found it — probably buried in my long list of “books I should read” in the Notes app on my phone. Either way, within the first chapter, I thought, finally someone else gets it.
That book was a turning point. Tim Ferriss talked about what he called the “deferred-life plan” — the idea that we spend our healthiest years working endlessly for a retirement we might not even enjoy. He challenged that narrative by asking, what if freedom, joy, and adventure weren’t things we had to wait for?
That hit me hard. I realized I had been living with the similar mindset of want to experience some freedom, job and adventure now while I work. Not later when I retire.
In the margins of one of the pages, I had written:
“I only want to do things that bring me joy and excite me!”
That still stays true today. Sure, there are always things we have to do but overall, the work I choose and the life I’m building should light me up. That’s the new standard.
And while that season was full of reflection including conversations, journaling, prayer, and grounding, the biggest shift came when I finally gave myself permission to redesign how I live and work even if it looked different than the norm.
I laughed when Ferriss wrote about working four hours a week because I thought, I’d settle for four days! Maybe that will be my retirement plan. But for now, lifestyle design is about finding that sweet spot by working in ways that fuel me instead of drain me, so I don’t have to keep running away just to feel alive.
What Is Lifestyle Design?
Lifestyle design is the intentional act of building your life around what you value most not what others expect.
It’s not about quitting your job, becoming an influencer, or moving to Bali. It’s about rethinking how you spend your time, what you say yes to, and what truly makes you feel alive. It’s the art of aligning your outer life with your inner truth so your days actually match your dreams.
At its core, it’s about:
- Designing your life around your values.
- Aligning your time and energy with what truly matters.
- Creating rhythms that support your health, creativity, and peace.
You can’t always control everything, but you can take ownership of your yes and your no.
✨ Reflection prompt: What would your life look like if your calendar matched what actually matters most to you?
3 Ways to Start Designing a Life That Feels Good Now
You don’t need to overhaul everything overnight. Lifestyle design happens through small, intentional shifts that build momentum.
1. Audit Your Energy
Write down everything you do in a typical week, from meetings to meal prep , and ask: What fills me up? What drains me?
If you’re a nurse or mid-career professional, you might realize that you’re spending 12 hours managing staffing crises, attending compliance meetings, and putting out fires but zero hours on the strategic leadership development that actually energizes you. You’re managing everyone else’s career growth except your own. You keep saying yes to everyone else but what might shift if you said yes to yourself, just once this week?
Action step: Protect one block of time this week (even an hour) for something that restores you. Schedule it like a meeting you can’t cancel.
Ask yourself: “Where does my best energy go and where do I want it to go instead?”
2. Redefine Success
For years, success meant promotions, titles, and productivity. Now, for many of us, it’s peace. It’s balance. It’s waking up excited about our day, not dreading it.
Your definition of success can evolve. It should evolve.
Ask yourself: What does success look and feel like for me in this season?
Maybe it’s time freedom. Maybe it’s being more present with your kids. Maybe it’s building something new.
Action step: Write one sentence that defines what success feels like not what it looks like.
Example: “Success feels like having dinner with my family without interruptions”
3. Build Mini-Sabbaticals Into Your Routine
You don’t have to quit your job to take a break. Try one “mini sabbatical” day each month with no work, no errands, no guilt.
Use it to rest, journal, explore a new hobby, or do something that reconnects you to yourself.
If you’re not sure where to start, begin small. Maybe it’s a solo walk, a quiet beach morning, or just a few hours unplugged from everyone’s needs but your own.
Pro tip: Add these mini-sabbaticals to your calendar now, before life fills the space for you.
Need inspiration? Check out my blog, “The Myth You Have to Blow Up Your Life to Take a Sabbatical.”
Closing Thought
I never did take that Senior Director job and it turned out to be one of the best “no’s” of my life.
Because every time you say yes to something, you say no to something else.
The question is, what’s worth your yes?
Lifestyle design isn’t about living a fantasy life. It’s about creating a real one with space for joy, rest, and meaning that feels like yours.
Take care, Take Breaks
Amy
